What I learnt from my two year old

I have a two year old daughter who is my sunshine.  I lover her dearly.  I love her free spirit, her energy and  the fact that she has no scruples with saying 'No'.  My little one, has learnt the most important lesson  in life- the right and ability to say 'No'. 

At first I found this extremely frustrating at mealtimes when she would refuse to eat the delicious food in her bowl.  I would try various tactics to convince her to eat but she was adamant that she was not interested.  It soon occurred to me that there was little I could do to convince a two year old to do anything against her will.  As frustrating as it is, that is what I love most about her.  My daughter lives in a world where decision making is simple- yes or no.  There are no maybes, no thinking about it or getting a second or third opinions.  She is clear in her mind- Yes or No.  

This a trait that we all possessed as children, probably around the same time of the terrible twos.  As we grow older though, most of us (including myself) confuse decision making with pondering.  We ponder on the outcomes of our decision rather than simply making the decision and dealing with the consequences  later.  We are afraid of the afterwards.     In our individual lives,  our country and the world in general, we are afraid of the afterwards.  The consequence of our fear is that we live in a world where a lot does not make sense.  But we live with it and in it anyway becausu we are afraid saying 'No'.
 
My daughter has taught me the importance of simply saying 'No' again and dealing with the afterwards....afterwards.

Employment Inequity

 In my previous life in investment banking, my morning ritual usually involved rushing into the building and into the lift at 08:05 every morning as I tried again, for the umpteenth time, to make 08:00! After catching my breath, I would stand at the back of the lift and look up to observe the people around me.   The one thing that always struck me (apart from the forced conversations, most people not looking up from their Blackberry, the smell of coffee-niccotine on some stressed out soul etc.) was how I would often be the sole female and often  only black person in a lift full of white men.  

My observation,  did not end in the lift.  When I was with my core team, it was predominantly white male.  When I attended business meetings or sat on a board I was surrounded ...yes, by white men.  The only places in the building where they were scarce was in the mail room with the delivery men, at the reception, making tea, cleaning and ofcourse in the HR department. 

It always surprises me then, when some South Africans suggest that employment equity should be done away with as it is an 'unfair' policy.  My question to them is 'What employment Equity?'  All I see is Employment Inequty. 

Why do Blacks leave?

Why do Blacks leave?    

This was a question posed to me by one of my colleagues when I resigned from one of South Africa's leading financial services firms.  My colleague, a white man,  wanted to understand why black professionals did not stay long in this particular team and within the firm in general.  I did not have the answer to his question as I had yet to conduct a survey among ex-black employees of the company??  However, I was clear on why I had decided to resign. 

When I joined the firm, I joined a team of predominantly middle aged, white men.  This is not unique in South Africa today as most black people in management level  positions and above in corporate,  are faced with a similar demographic of their teams.  This predominance of white men has negative consequences, the worst of which being that it has resulted in a dominant corporate culture.  I define this culture as a world in which all kinds of isms are ingrained in the environment.  Progression relies on your ability to fit in - do you play golf, how about rugby or cricket at the least? Are you from a wealthy family and if not, do you at least know wealthy people?  Do you have some form of connections to the powers that be in the company?  If you are black, do you have networks within government or perhaps of successful black business people with political links so you can all BEE together?    

My colleagues were not unique in the South African context.  They  had had an above average upbringing during the apartheid years and continued to live an above average lifestyle post 1994.   They had strong opinions about the country, the ANC-led government and the politics of the day.  They were comfortable in expressing such opinions.  I was comfortable with this, as I too had my views and has always enjoyed discussing topical matters concerning the country.  Consequently, we often had  heated debates on subject matters that included SA history, politics,  service delivery, government policy, the economy, employment equity, morality of politicians and corruption on the African continent.  

There is nothing wrong with healthy discourse.  However, if you are in an environment where there is a dominant group of people with similar views,  then healthy discourse often turns sour for those with the dissenting view.  When it does turn sour, it affects everything -  your relationship with members of the team, the work assigned to youand your chances of of progressing within the organisation.  Nobody wants to work with someone who they do not identify with, let alone one who makes them feel uncomfortable because they are diferent.    So as a young black professional in such environments you have the following choices:

 A. Ignore all the isms all around you and get a punching bag in your office;  or  B. Engage your colleagues with your views and face the consequences of your CLMs (career limiting  moves); or C. Agree with everything that your colleagues say, think and do; orD. Leave.    

After, 3.5 years of option B, I finally chose option D.  I left.  I finally accepted that I would not grow in this environment.  I had spent 3.5 years convincing myself that I should stay and be part of the change in the culture for the sake of future generations etc. etc.  I convinced myself that at some point I will develop as I had set out to initially.  It finally clicked that I was not going to achieve either goal.  I accepted that my colleagues and I were the result of our upbringing and we were not about to change.  We could change how we related to one another though but there is still one obstacle to this- a dominant group of people and the culture they continue to cling onto.  

Will things in corporate SA ever change if black professionals like myself keep leaving?  Perhaps not in the short term.  However,  one day when the stakes are high enough for corporate SA, then  employment equity will not be a grudge policy but an absolute priority that implemented.  Alternatively, there is always option E for educated and skilled black people- establish our own businesses with corporate cultures where everyone has the opportunity to excel.

 Tell us your stories (both successes and challenges) of your experience in corporate South Africa.